THE BRIAN LIST

Greatness

2006-12-15T07:24:00.000-08:00

Here are 20 things that I think are great:

1. Heated car seats

2. Nail guns
3. Sliced bread (especially after living in europe)

4. Tupperware

5. Coffee Cups or Cups of Coffee

6. Not being in school

7. Goggles (and not google)

8. Steak

9. Headphones

10. Bread and butter

11. Pizza

12. Hot Tubs

13. Harmonicas

14. Invisible Font

15. Phoenix Suns

16. Trains
17. Free meals

18. Wood stoves

19. Powder

20. Long Johns (both kinds)

DO NOT TRUST:

2006-12-06T00:36:00.000-08:00

Do Not Trust:

1. The Weatherman
2. Italian Trains
3. The French
4. CBC
5. Chris Pronger
6. Telus
7. Printers
8. Expiration dates on milk
9. My dedication to The Brian List
10. Telemarketers

What Makes a Sandwich?

2006-09-19T04:38:00.000-07:00

No, I never did work for Subway, so one cannot say I am a sandwich artist, but I do know what turns two hunks of bread into something beautiful. Here are some ingredients that will take your sandwich to the next level.

1. Mustard - Number one for good reason. Don't know if you can call something without mustard a sandwich

2. Rye Bread- Dark or light rye bread. Adds another dimension of flavor.

3. Crisp, Fresh Cucumber - Cucumber must be added fresh or the water makes the sandwich soggy, which basically ruins it. Cucumbers add a bit of crunch that adds to the texture element of the sandwich

4. Turkey - Turkey is alright, but leftover turkey in a sandwich, WOW

5. Salt - Salt just brings out the flavor of everything, makes the eating experience that much better

6. Miracle Whip (Probably shouldn't mix MW with Mustard though, MW is more of a replacement for those who haven't learned to fully appreciated mustard)

7. Green Onions - Green onions bring a unique flavor that can't be replaced.

8. Alfalfa Sprouts - Makes the sandwich large, yet light. They are the perfect filler for a sandwich

Now go build a sandwich.

Fashionable Automobiles

2006-09-18T00:30:00.000-07:00

Some people don't know how to design cars. Here are a few examples of new cars that look disgusting, in a not too particular order.

1. Renault Twingo - what the heck...twingo..?

2. Opel Agila - Maybe Agila is greek for ugly...?

3. Ford Ka - american car company produces european-style ugly cars

4. Citroen Xsara Picasso - Any car with "Picasso" has absolutely no chance

5. Renault Kangoo - Kangoo? Seriously?

6. Peugeot 107 - Small and relativily dumb looking, but driveable i guess

7. Fiat Multipla - My personal favourite...one fine looking automobile

Things We Can('t) Live Without

2006-09-12T02:45:00.000-07:00

How much of the things that fill our life do we actually need? Are we wasteing our precision time on money on things we can live without? What is essential to living? Here are a few things that we can obviously live without, but don't. Some hypothetical ideas, others are proven facts.

1. Shampoo (Proven) - Shampoo doesn't do anything. I thought it did, until somebody told me I was wrong. For debates of this nature, there is only one way to find the truth. So I stopped using shampoo and conditioner. I rinsed my hair, but no hair products were used. At first my hair was greasy, really greasy. But after a week or 2, something magical happened, the grease went away and all that remained was my silky-smooth hair. I carried on for 6 weeks, no complaints, no problems.

2. Paris Hilton (Proven) - She just has no place in America or "the limelight". She is kinda annoying, isn't she?

3. Brushing Your Teeth (Somewhat Proven) - Ever wonder why you brush your teeth? My little brother did once. So he stopped. 3 months, no teeth brushing. Funny thing is, nobody noticed. You eat something in the morning and the bad breath goes away. When you eat apples and carrots, they clean your teeth for you. So why are we brushing our teeth soo much? I don't know. Don't worry, I still do. And so does my little bro, as far as I know.

4. Pencils (Hypothetical) - Lets just not make mistakes people.

5. Cellphones (Sorta Proven) - I don't own one, and I don't intend to for quite some time. Cellphones are a trap. Everyone who has one relies on them, can't live without one. People did fine without them before we had such a wonderful technology. I see them as a small waste of money which I will inevitably one day waste my money on.

6. Sunscreen Lotion (Hypothetical) - Just don't burn. I never burn. Ever.

The Best of the Best

2006-09-06T03:57:00.000-07:00

So I like sports, pretty much all sports. Sports contain athletes, athletes are real people, and some people are out-right loopy. Hence, a list of my favorite whacky-athletes and a little bit of why I love these guys.

1. Terrell "I hate my QB" Owens - Probably the most retarded W.R. in the NFL. Gotta love a teammate who bashes your quarterback and whines when his team doesn't throw a parade for his 100th TD. He has an autobiography that he has never read and has the most ridiculous TD dances. And when explaining what he would do with his 1 week suspension, "I'm going to the Bahamas. I'm going to get a tan." This man is pure entertainment

2. Latrell "Gotta feed my family" Sprewell - One quote by this former NBA superstar should explain all. In an interview, he was being questioned on why he was holding out and demanding an impressive contract extension to go along with his $14.6 million contracnt he replied, "Why would I want to help them win a title?" They're not doing anything for me. I'm at risk. I have a lot of risk here. I got my family to feed." Makes you wonder, what the heck does he feed his family?

3. Floyd "Do you want another excuse?" Landis - I don't know if he took steriods, and I don't really care. But come on, he got a little carried away on why he thought he failed the pee-test. I mean, lets not think out loud here. He stated that it was from the whiskey he enjoyed before the race, that he just has incredibly large amounts of (i guess synthetic) testosterone that occurs naturally in his organism, dehydration=steriods, and he claims that there are 100's of other reasons of why he didn't purposefully take steroids. Let's not forget that this man is Mennonite, the most elite group of people who do not need steriods to completely destroy at any sport. (Landis has a daughter, named Ryan....)

4. Shaquille "Diesel" Oneal - Gotta love a guy who is 7 feet, 340 pounds, and loves to make fun of his opponents. Not only does he roll around on camera-men and attempts to pull the whole net down every dunk, but he loves to play with the media. He made fun of Kobe, he has a cell-phone (and video camera) in his all-star game shoes, and he calls Erick Dampier "Ericka" and insists he should be playing in the WNBA. Pure class.

5. Rocky "No Teeth" Thompson - Who remembers this fury of wrath that graced the ice of Calgary while they were, ummm, "re-building". He couldn't really skate, but he would fight anyone and everyone in his twelve game stint with the flames one season, he tallyed 9 fights and numerous penalties. They probably didn't even need to give him a stick because he couldn't use it, unless he needed to slash somebody, or attempt a "McSorley". This man was a true Flame, and exactly what that organization needed to rebuild into the elite, offensiveless team they are today that only rely on there goalie to win games.

Switzerland, the Right and the Wrong

2006-08-14T09:17:00.000-07:00

Einstein was from switzerland, he was smart, so you think the country would be as well. Maybe. They got some things figured out, but missed the target on the other things. It's an interesting country to say the least

5 things Switzerland got right are:

1. There lowest currency is a 5 rappen (equivalent to the nickel). Basically, they don't have the "penny" which is great, because we all know pennies are useless. Anybody who has been around when I've bought something knows that the pennies go right into the garbage along with the receipt. That's where they belong. So the swiss said "forget the penny, round everything to the nearest five and call 'er a day". Hence, all we have is the 5 rappen. (The bad part is the 5 rappen turns into a penny and is useless, but not as useless as real pennies)

2. The best public transit system in the world. Trains, Trams, Buses, Boats, they got it all and it all runs frequently, efficiently, and more or less on time (especially compared to Calgary Transit). Sure it's a bit pricey, but basically if you live in switzerland and don't have little kids, you don't need a car.

3. Not alot of fast-food. The fast food places are just not as plentiful. Sure everyone loves their fastfood, but it is unhealthy, and when you gotta pay 15 bucks for a cheeseburger meal, do you really wanna spend that much money to throw your body into a pit of unhealthiness? I didn't think so

4. Water Fountains that you can drink from. They are everywhere, in every city and town, and it is all quality water that tastes great. Probably better then the tap water, or so Louise says at least. And these just aren't your standard water fountains that you see in the mall or the hallowed halls of MHCS, these are actual fountains, outside. Anyways, it is handy, especially when it is hot. I would recommend every country has drinkable fountains all over, outside.

5. Swiss Military. Every male must take military training throughout his life. These are highly skilled fighting machines. Switzerland doesn't go to war, they are neutral. But most countries would be ridiculous to attack switzerland. Not only do they have secret military stuff hidden throughout the mountains, but every man who has been trained in the military owns a automatic weapon, which he keeps in his home. You can't invade a country where every household has at least one automatic weapon. Get real.

5 things that the swiss obviously have wrong

1. No window screens. They got quite a few bugs here, well alot. Since it is so hot here, they leave the windows (and doors) open all summer. Then they complain about their bug infestation. The solution is pretty obvious, and you can even by window screen here, for fairly cheap. Put two and two together, come on.

2. Smoking. They sell smokes for cheap. They sell smokes to anybody who wants to buy them. Teenage girls smoke. Smoking is acceptable, alot of people smoke, people smoke in most places, blow smoke in your face etc... It gets irretating, people smell gross, i just don't like cigerattes.

3. Swiss-german. German sounds funny enough to hear spoken, but swiss-german is down-right goofy. It's like a mixture of the worst possible noises a person can make, organized into a somewhat coherent dialect. Ok, maybe I am exagerating a little bit, but it still sounds weird.

4. Milk. The milk here tastes funny. They also have this stuff called High Temp. Milk which doesn't need to be refrigerated until opened. How weird is that? That can't be healthy. The last time I checked, you need to refrigerate milk or it goes bad, fast. Leaving milk in a cupboard for a few weeks, come on now.

5. Switzerland needs Safeway. Or any other grocery store found in Canada. Heck, even a Walmart would be great. Instead, grocery stores are undersized, have limited selection for everything except cheese, and are only open till 6. Nothing is open till 10 or 11. That is when I like to grocery shop. I gotta work during the day. Open till 6 is not enough. They aren't even open on Sunday. Yeah, that is a good thing, but it's not like the Swiss are going to church because it's Sunday, they just don't care to open. In fact its a law, can't open shop on sunday.

The Brian List: Introduction

2006-08-08T04:17:00.000-07:00

Here is a little information about The Brian List, in no particular order.

1. The Brian List officially started August 8th, 2006
2. The Brian List will always have a list of something, probably related to Brian in some sort of way
3. I will post a list every week
4. The Brian List may not last very long, I am lazy
5. Dallas Cowboys
6. If you read The Brian List every week, your knowledge will rival the likes of Albert Einstein
7. Brian likes lists, but not long lists
8. The Brian List should help to combat boredom at work
9. The themes of The Brian List will probably focus mostly on music and random stuff that is hopefully humerous to somebody
10. Every Brian list will be accompanied with a random picture of my choosing